April 30, 2008 -- 10 years together

Seems like only yesterday, but it was ten years ago today that Eva and I got together as a couple.

Some days have been longer than others and some brighter than others, but all in all, it has seemed like we've only been together for a few moments that were all filled with glimmering happiness. We feel blessed and so happy.

Today, Grant and Clifford came over to take us out for lunch and take pictures of us, in between enjoying the movie The Producers. These are some of the photos that Clifford took in our backyard and we find something great about us in all the 60+ pictures!!

April 29, 2008 - Musings of an employer

Lately, we were presented with an opportunity to assist our beloved Jose (who works his heart out for us six days a week and without whom our lives would hardly be worth living) in something that we had essentially started.
Jose, age 26, lives with his "wife" and three darling boys, ages 5 and under, in a home owned by his mother-in-law. Since I am about to become a mother-in-law myself, perhaps this makes me more sensitive. The m-i-l has owned this house for some time, does not keep it up, and continues to own it mainly so she has something to sell at some point to give her grown daughters a financial gift of some sort. Even though this house is not in centro or one of the desirable neighborhoods, its value has escalated thanks to the other real estate markets over the last several years. When we have visited this house, we have been dismayed because it is little more than a cement block shack, but it's not his house, and he's living rent-free, so it's hardly within our purview to say anything.
But say something we did. We encouraged Jose to ask his m-i-l to sell him this house and property (the property is actually a nice size and makes the acquisition of the property worthwhile). When we did this, we did not realize he didn't pay rent and we also assumed he could get a mortgage as a Mexican. There used to be favorable first-time homeowner deals here to encourage folks to buy a home. Not only are there no longer such nice deals, but also we didn't know the full extent of his finances. Since he doesn't pay rent and manages to spend all his earnings, we don't know where he'd find the funds to improve his home, even if he did own it. He is still paying off a debt from his wife's caeserean section after child #3 and bought a second-hand crappy TV which has required lots of upkeep. And every now and then the boy needs some new shoes to feel great.
So, once he'd worn down his m-i-l with requests to buy her house and she gave him a number, we felt initially like we should buy the house for him, but that would of course, create problems at some future point. We then wondered about giving him some of it to get started so to speak and have the bank take care of most of his debt. To get a bank to even consider loaning you funds here as a mortgage, you have to first be a depositing customer for at least six months, and depositing on a regular basis, too. And then we realized that he is well paid. He is better paid than if he were working construction or other manual alternatives. We not only pay him well, but also we give him bonuses at the end of the year. We celebrate his birthday with cake and monetary gifts. We buy his sons birthday gifts. We are as nice to him as he is to us. So really, the responsibility falls on him as an adult with a family and not on us.
And so we have been stymied. Other ex-patriates have had similar issues. We want to help out those people who work hard for us. We are nice people that way. But just how far do we want to get invovled? The owners of the haciendas realized that they had taken on lifetime employment responsibilities for the people living on their land. And indeed this still holds true today in Merida -- if you buy land outside the city, it is possible you will be on a patrimonio that requires you to offer those liviing in the area their "normal" rights of passage through your land or grazing of their animals on your land or use of your cenote or whatever has typically been used by the neighborhood.
It is difficult to know what the right thing to do is. We have encouraged thrift and savings, but that has come to naught. We have offered to hold, as a bank, a certain portion of Jose's pay so that if his children are sick and need medical care, or if he wants to save for that TV instead of paying a loan shark high interest, or if he wants to just recognize that a rainy day may be out there and he'd like to be prepared for it. But he resisits, saying he needs every penny. In fact, we usually pay him on Tuesday for the first two week days since otherwise, he acts like he won't be able to buy milk for the boys.
We don't like that he lives in a hovel without indoor plumbing or a refrigerator. But we wonder if it's our responsibility to transform his life financially beyond his paycheck. And also, we wonder if he had this gift of a home, if he could afford to make it into a real home, or if it would just cause further frustration to him. And so we sit on our hands and continue to preach frugality...